With apologies to Jack Handy....
Once a flee wys stukke yn the ful hare vf my scool techre. We laghed ys she tryd to bat it. At last I biseched all, "no more bug murthre!" and I cutt her hare uff. An "a" that gaer was deffended me.
Now, in modern English:
Once a fly got stuck in the hair of my teacher. My class laughed as she tried to bat it away from her. At last I begged her, "no more bug toture!" And I cut off all her hair. I was denied an "A" that year.
Based on a true story, all but the abrupt haircut part.
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